THE RESUME

NAME: Anonymous (please)

ADDRESS: I’m standing right next to you

OBJECTIVE: The truth about God.  A purpose for my life.

Also would like to work in an area of friendship and safety. Open to the idea of a small group or church.

 

PRIOR POSITIONS:

·      Present: Sinner (but nothing awful – well maybe in 2007 but not much else)

·      2008 to 2015: Establishing Myself (job; spouse; hobbies; bank account; 401K)

·      1986 to 2008: Student – I was taught what the world had to offer – I picked what looked good to me

·      1981 to present: Family member – I’ve held the position but haven’t done much with it

 

SPECIAL SKILLS:

·      Have become adept at smiling when in pain

·      Can conceal the empty space in my soul unless caught off guard

·      Technically savvy

·      Am able to make small talk about dozens of topics

·      Stress management

·      Health management

·      Financial management

 

References available upon request.

 

I’m hoping someone out there has a position for me because right now I’m feeling pretty desperate. Life seems empty. I’m afraid of aging and death.

 

Thanks for your consideration.

 

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